[ .loves. ]
purple,roses,rum n raisin,truffles,
salmon,apple struddel,scuba diving,
japanese food,furry animals,
babies,dancing,painting,rollerblading
stars,auroras,shopping,skating,
chilling out at night,oceans,nature,
taking photos,cycling,squishing my toes in the soft sand,
baking:)
Now i'm really suspecting that Daisy is pregnant again. Her tummy has a bulge.
I have sepearated Hamster Fo from her 2 brothers. I realized that she's becoming quite skinny, inactive and dehydrated as well. So I'm putting her in the Hospital Mode, where she's alone in another cage and there's no competition for food and water. And I'll be observing and inspecting her everyday. She's really fatigued. She hardly struggled at all when i bathed her, dried her and inspected her. After she touched down in her new cage, she almost immediately went to sleep. I hope she'll recover fast.
I'm renaming all of them, since there's no more Fe.
Fi will be Baby. (Cos he's cute. But he always nibbles and squeaks. It's pretty obvious that he's the weaker male compared to Lion whenever they fight for things. He cries, fight, but loses and cries again)
Fo will be Hope. (Simply cos I hope there's hope for her)
Fum will be Lion. (He owns the cage. He's the fierce one who fights and bites all the time)
RIP
Today Hamster Fe died.
Her owner found her dead in the corner of her cage with a bloody eye injury, likely caused by a hamster fight. She died due to dehydration and malnutrition as well, due to overpopulation. The tiniest hamster among her siblings, she was unable to survive among them.
RIP Fe.
I'm back from Kelong early! Here's a lovely sunrise i saw today.
And my Kelong experience. A Big Creature was caught. Not by me, duh. I dont have the patience nor the skill. It's such a pity though...such a majestic creature in the ocean...It would be awesome to see this creature while scuba diving.
Daisy did it again! Here's a video of her lickin' the cage wall. I just think it's cute, you know? =)
This is probably one of my most honest posts.
I am a rose.
And even though some of the petals have been plucked off.
God still loves me.
I remember the times when God spoke to me. There were vivid dreams, there were visions, there were oppressions. I remember sensing activities in the spiritual realm and Him giving me understanding of situations. I remember relying on God to understand people and their problems and needs. Those were the times when my life was rather chaotic too, with parents, relationships and studies. But i was so close to Him. I was like a child. There was once He sent a lovebird to my window just to tell me He loves me. I think, I was more sensitive to the Holy Spirit then, than i am now. That was the period of time in which I was wondering to myself: How can anyone not want to do quiet time or talk to God? Is it that hard? God's wonderful!
(Well, I'm wishing I could return to that state of mind now.)
I have more knowledge about the bible and God now then I did last time. I am more disciplined and more responsible than I was last time.(more, I hope) I know better about the right thing to say and do and what not to say and do in church now. And I have a bigger picture of how everything goes and how to go about doing things...
But the PASSIONATE love's just missing, you know?
Even though right now if anyone asks me about what are the things that God has done in my life, I can rant on and on and on and even get emotional and shed a tear or two. (Because He really has been awesome)
But being grateful and being in love, are 2 very different situations.
Being Grateful: I can be grateful to God, and be obliged to obey Him because of all that He has done for me, because He died on the cross for me.And I don't want to be ungrateful. Hence I do what I can possibly give, which is my time, like going to cellgrp, service, prayer meetings, reading my bible and pray. I raise my hands and jump during praise and worship because it pleases Him. After all that He has done for me, how can I be ungrateful? I must persevere on...
OR
Being in Love: Every day, every week, it's just simply lovely,spending time worshipping in His presence. It really does fills my heart with joy, knowing that the almighty God loves me, and is watching me as I dance for Him. All I need to do is be still, and I can feel His loving arms embracing me. He fills me with so much energy, I just can't stop praising His Name! He takes away all my fears and sorrows. There is nothing i desire more than to be in His presence. How He could use someone like me, I'll never understand. I'm just so glad that He could use me to speak into people's lives and be His shining light.
Is it because my life is being filled with expectations that I and the people around me has put for me? Is it because I have been too concerned about the impressions I'm giving people, and I have been too concerned about doing the right thing that I feel inadequate?
I remember some weeks ago, not sure how many weeks ago, but it ain't that far off....I remember that I was dealing with such heavy warfare that all I can do was to plop on my bed and cry my eyes out to God. I was too tired to pray, so I wailed out words in between my sobbing. All I could do was to run and lean into His chest and let Him put His loving arms around me while I did the wailing. He simply carried me and held me in His strong protective arms in silence. I needed that rest, and I found it in Him. I clung unto Him for hours and fell asleep. I woke up next morning with swollen eyes that I could barely open. One thing's for sure, I felt His peace.
Pictures from my attachment. This time we had NYP year ones with us! Yay!This is Cindy, me, Charmaine and Jojo. The 3 ppl i enjoyed working with the most.
Cindy!!! I love working with her. Sigh. Wish we could end up working together again.
Thurga and Azura, they're in cubicles next to me. Love working with them too!
And erm, my friend made this. Lol.
Recently, i decided to try and reunite hamster Jersey and Daisy again. To my relief, after a night of fighting, they became a cuddly couple again. It makes me happy to see them so loving.
HOWEVER, i risk daisy getting pregnant again. Hamsters go into heat every 4 days for only 12 hours. So happens, daisy is in heat tonight. But i didnt know. I think they've been mating for a long time now while i was happily playing my games.
My initial plan was to seperate them if they start to mate. However, after seperating them, i just felt so sad. Can you believe that i can actually emphatize with my hamsters?! Well, yea, sorta.
Daisy looked so forlorn after i took Jersey out, she was running around, lifting her nose into the air, wondering "Where is my mate?". Sobs. And poor Jersey, was frantically trying to get out of his other cage.
I ended up reuniting them again, knowing very well Daisy might get pregnant again. Sigh. I just couldnt stand watching them so sad, you know? Guess wad? The moment Jersey touched down, he went to find daisy and mated again. -_- My hot little fat hamster.
Do you know, hamsters can get depressed when their partner or room mate dies or is seperated from them? It's true. They will either starve and become inactive, or they will eat and eat and eat and become obese.
When i was young, i witnessed that. I had 2 hamsters then, and one of them drowned. (Another story) The other hamster stopped eating and drinking and died one week later. It was so tragic...
Hence, i want my hamsters to be happy. Well...baby making is a problem...
Faith is trusting what the eyes can’t see
Eyes see the prowling lion, faith sees Daniel’s angels
Eyes see storms, faith sees Noah’s rainbow
Eyes see giants, faith sees Cannan
Your eyes see your faults, your faith sees the Savior
Your eyes see your guilt, your faith sees His blood
Your eyes see your grave, your faith sees a City whose builder and maker is God
It's not a usual routine for me to post about my day, but somehow, i just feel like doing so tonight at 12.04am.
Attachment at NUH has been rather laid back last week.
But TODAY, it was really tiring. I got a few patients today that really needed extra grace from people. They can be really unpleasant, frustrating and irritating at times, but they can make your day wonderful too.
But today was probably my happiest day. Because i feel a sense of achievement by caring for these patients that really tried to drain all my patience. In fact, I'm surprised I laughed and smiled so much today. It was the busiest day of all, yet it was my happiest day so far in this attachment. I guess that's why I'm a nurse. I'm happy when I'm doing things for patients, and not when I got nothing to do. But of course, i appreciate days in which i dont have to do much. heh. There's a time for everything. I wonder what challenges i will face with those patients tomorrow...
The Nanyang Poly Year 1 nurses happen to be posted together with us in this ward this time round. I'll name those whom i've worked with here in case i forget. Thurga, Cindy, Aisyah, Azura. I really enjoyed time spent working with them. They're all really teachable and pleasant people. And i made a new friend too, from NP, she's called Charmaine and she's in the same cubicle as me, just different shifts. Really thank God for her. She's one of the people i look forward to meeting everytime i go into the ward. Simply because she's probably the only NP colleage that i can talk to comfortably. My other friends are posted in the cubicles far from me. And the NP colleages that are posted to the cubicles beside me are...well...bitchy. I just find them so unpleasant to be with. I shant say why or i'll be the one bitching. Anyway, we only talk to each other if there's a need to. Otherwise we're just transparent to each other.
They said that as a nurse, you've got to draw a line between your work and your personal life. But sometimes, some patients just get you thinking about them even when you've left the hospital...like you wish there was something more that you can do for them. Sigh... I've got 2 patients with neuro cases... one who is almost brain dead and unconscious, and the other who is disillusioned and hallucinating due to schizophrenia... Will praying really help these people? It's so hard not to doubt that prayer won't get them anywhere, you know? They can't even hear the gospel...
