[ .loves. ]
purple,roses,rum n raisin,truffles,
salmon,apple struddel,scuba diving,
japanese food,furry animals,
babies,dancing,painting,rollerblading
stars,auroras,shopping,skating,
chilling out at night,oceans,nature,
taking photos,cycling,squishing my toes in the soft sand,
baking:)
I love this song...God is always there. Yesterday, today and forever.
You were there by Avalon
I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight
'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb
'Cause You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were
Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath
You were there, You were there
During history's darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God
You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God
How did i know Jordon? Actually i knew Joshua first. But only by aqquaintence. Then they joined our then cellgrp, i4c. It wasnt till Jordon became my Small group leader did i really know him. That was the only time when i actually experienced the true meaning of discipleship and being disciplined to be accountable to someone. I'll say i never really had a discipler who discipled me. I was simply accountable to Zibing and my buddies like Mel and Kare. But it wasnt really consistent ya know? And i dont have one now since Jordon is gone. Sigh. My conference group consisted of Jordon, Eugene and me.We had those conferences in which we were supposed to have every alternate day. But we all grew too busy. So it became once a week. And eventually sometimes we even forgot that too. But i really enjoyed every single one of those conferences. We always end the conversation laughing. And there were a couple of times we couldnt stop laughing. Or at least, I couldnt stop laughing. hehe. Ya know...when i get into one of those laughing fits...Well it was fun while it lasted. =) Jolly good memories. I'm glad God made him a man. Yet...there's something different about him. Ya know? *winks* SO here's a song for Jordon that i wanted to sing at the airport but didnt: For Jordon's a jolly good fellow Sounds like a tongue twister. Weeheehee. =) "Jordon is a good boy.He doesnt drink.He doesnt smoke.And he goes to church every saturday." Heeheehee!!! Good one.Jordon's been gone for 4 days now. I do regret not making time to call him last time when i was supposed to be accountable to him. Now i miss those conferences... *trembling lips*
Sending him off at the airport on Tuesday was such an emotional experience. It was kinda funny though. Me and mel were practically chasing after him everywhere he went, making sure he's never too far away. And finally comes the time to say goodbye... *looks away and wipes a tear*
yes yes, as i was saying, we all had to say goodbye. So handshakes for the girls and hugs for the guys...WHY OH WHY!!?? It would be so much easier to say goodbye had he been a brown cuddly furry teddy bear, then we ALL could give him hugs and wave goodbye!!!
But oh wells, he's been promoted to brotherhood and no longer our big small sister...*buries face into hands*
Pardon me...i'm still being emotional...
i MUST pull myself together!!
Oh. Where was i? Oh yes, so we waved goodbye as he walks in slowly and turns back and waves at all of us. I looked away for a moment to give a tearful scringed up face at Mel, then looked back at him again. By now he had already checked his passport. But hey, i lost my specs. I didnt know he was like on the other side from where i was looking. I just assumed that the little brown spot i saw was him and i was still waving goodbye. It wasnt till i realized everyone was waving at the opposite direction did i know.
...
DUH.
Here's a photo of us all anyway. It's not a cellgrp photo, there're other ppl too.
Today i shall just rant on about dear Jordon.
It's like gender doesnt matter really. Wahaha. Now why did i say that? I have no idea man.
=S I'm not gonna press 'Backspace' though.
For Jordon's a jolly good fellow
For Jordon's a jolly good fellooooooow!
And nobody can deny!
"For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you." -Deuteronomy 23:14
If you cant read my handwriting, this is what it says: Nothing is impossible with God. It is never too late to start. You've not failed until you do not try. Trust and see that God is the God of the impossible. Finally, at the altar call, Sis WP had a specific clear message from God to me. It is: For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Trust in Me and see. Trust in Me. Lord i know now that You really mean what You've been telling me all these while. I'm sorry i was hesitant. I'm sorry i didnt trust in You...help me to trust in You O Lord. I will trust in You O God. Everything is in Your hands. Whatever plans You have for me, i accept. I will do my best in what i can and stop worrying and chasing after my own plans. I shall start studying now and care not about the future results. Lord, please take away my fear and the burden in my heart. In Jesus Name i ask and pray. Amen.Regarding my last post, God did gave me an answer. It's something i've always heard, always said, always knew. But we all forget about God's promises now and then when hardships and worries come.
I've been very stressed lately, cos of coming exams. It has always been a constant torment during each exam period, that i would have a panic attack. Fear of failing exams overwhelms me and i go into a panic attack. Meaning, i worry and worry and do nothing because i was afraid that if i start studying, i wont be able to remember everything i study. Silly, i know. Doesnt make sense really. It's called irrational thinking. This fear caused me to pon my exam paper once. Because i was afraid of failing the paper.
Anyway, i went into panic attack on thursday and friday. I simply played computer games and watched movies and videos. Just so to occupy my time because i wanted to run away from all the information i had to memorize. I tried study a few times but i ended up more frustrated and overwhelmed. I couldnt sleep either. Finally i decided to talk to a close friend. And it helped alot really. I also found out the source of my fear. It seems that the fear came from the fact that i had always failed my exams in secondary school. Now that i've been doing well in polytechnic, i have become so afraid of failing like i used to.
Anyway, after ending the conversation. I felt God wanting me to watch the movie "Facing the Giants" again. Boy am i glad someone uploaded the whole movie in youtube. i watched till about 5am. Suddenly i realized that i've been so blind, so stupid, so forgetful. What a fool. Have i really forgotten that God is the God of the impossible? How could i not remember how faithful my God is? Have i really forgotten that all things belongs to Him alone? How can i not put my trust in Him after all that He has done? He said: Trust in Me and see if I will not bless you and give you the desires of your heart. Do Not worry. It is not too late to start. You wouldnt know what might happen unless you start.
I will trust in Him because of His faithfulness and love. For i can do nothing without Him... Even if all things fail and go wrong, i will still love Him and trust Him...
Today's sermon by Sis Wan Ping was on prayer. I dont remember anything about the sermon although i've written notes, except this: Why do you still pray for something to happen if God's will's gonna happen anyway?
Or she said something like that, i cant remember. But it struck me and the Holy Spirit started to stir things inside me again. I wrote em down:
Completely by Ana Laura (Facing the Giants soundtrack)
The secret of life is letting go
The secret of love is letting it show
In all that I do
In all that I say
Right here in this moment
The power of prayer is in a humble cry
The power of change is in giving my life
And laying it down
Down at your feet
Right here in this moment
(Chorus)
Take my heart
Take my soul
I surrender everything to your control
And let all that is within me lift up to you and say
I am yours and yours alone
Completely
This journey of life is a search for truth
This journey of faith is following you
Every step of the way
Through the joy and the pain
Right here in this moment
God has given me a new verse to be puzzled about. It seems so simple to explain. The meaning is clearly there. But the thing that puzzles me most is that i am puzzled by the verse. It's like God is trying to tell me something but i just dont get it. Talk about language barriers and direct translations. Here are the various versions i've gathered from different bible versions of Proverbs 16:1
The preparations of the heart belong to man,
But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
(New King James Version)
To man belong the plans of the heart,
but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.
(New International Version)
The plans of the heart belong to man,
but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
(New Life Version)
Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word.
(The Message)
心 中 的 谋 算 在 乎 人 ； 舌 头 的 应 对 由 於 耶 和 华 。
Wahaha...today we had cellgroup at the Grand Stand of JE Stadium. As you can see from these pictures, we're writing on a piece of paper stuck at each other's back. We're supposed to write compliments for each other.
This is actually the notice board outside the sports hall. hehe. i just got bored and started shooting around. It turned out quite nice =) This is Gorge.
This is Gabriel.
WAHAHA. i love this photo! No we didnt go to snow city. it's edited by Andy Ong, taken from his blog. We were just fooling around in Daiso at IMM. So we tried out the ear muffs. =) I look really short....=( And Munkidd looks so happy like a little kid.