Sunday, May 25, 2008
10:34 pm
A post from Friday, September 23, 2005
I prayed a prayer of total destruction
soon the things i least expected would unfold
I prayed a prayer, oblivious to the seriousness it holds.
Thats soon to make my future and change the present to past, behold!
I prayed this prayer out of desperation
somewhere in the spiritual realm, an undetected change starts brewing.
I prayed my prayer thats soon to change me
Not tomorrow, not soon, but yesterdays ago
I said:
[Father, if You must, break me so that You can mold me according to Your will. If there is anything hindering me from You, Father i ask that You take it away. Because all i want is You.]
Just so happen to go back to my old blog to read what i wrote last time. This post made me think again...i'm still thinking so....this post is
UNDER THINKING PROCESS NOW...WILL BE CONTINUED
Friday, May 23, 2008
Wisdom from God through my Discipler Jordon
11:09 pm
Wisdom from God through my Discipler Jordon:
Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles,
They will run and not be weary,
They will walk and not faint.
so in your discipleship...
wait upon means to serve/minister/take instruction/take heed/listening to God =D
notice the transition... Strength to Soar> Strength to run> and at last, strength just enough to walk...
and not just a stroll,
the verse describes that walk as the kind where you take it step by step forward relying on God so that you don't faint...
maybe, now's your walk with God..
it's not a flight, nor a run... as freely as before...but a walk...
and but be sure, God will give you enough strength to take that next step forward.
Jordan
Thursday, May 22, 2008
6:35 pm
Monday, May 19, 2008
first diving trip
1:04 pm
Selamat Datang Pulau Dayang.
Nice view of the sunset.
They're both my feet actually. Taken from an angle.
The middle one is the chalet i stayed at.
I'm going in!
Ugh! Help! the air tank is too heavy!!! I cant lift my leg!
I'm in! I'm ok!
Yay! =)
Just thought that this was a pretty nice picture. I think the guy's Benjamin.
This is Detail 2. The group i'm in.
Some of the newfound friends i've made.
Friday, May 09, 2008
renewal
10:58 pm
Tonight, i finally took the courage, and laid down my whole life before God again. Who knows how many times i've dedicated myself to God already. But i needed this new renewal once again. Because i've finally made a wise decision to be transparent again. I'm sick of the lies i've hid. Sick of the lies of the devil. Sick of pretension. God's absence equals to living hell. And for the past 3 weeks, I felt that life really sucks. I lost my focus on God. Sure, He was present in my life, but He was not my focus. I tried to seek consolation and comfort from people...but i guess what i really needed was to find back my lost first love. My love supply was sucked dry. And today, God had to throw a brick at me to get my attention. Well, He got my full undivided attention...
I want my private time with God to be what it was like tonight. I had felt unworthy, scared even, to talk to God, because i havent been this intimate with Him for so long. I was broken, in my spirit, in my soul, in my heart, and in my mind...and i laid my broken pieces before my Maker. Knowing that only He alone can fix. Realizing how foolish i was to wait till i was broken before returning to Him. But He accepted me. My mind was filled with condemning guilt thoughts, and i had to shut them all out. The Holy Spirit spoke to me through His servant. I was prompted to open a book that i have not read at all. I flipped it open to somewhere in the book and staring at me were His words to me:
When you feel loved, anything is attainable. Your dreams are attainable. The world is attainable. God is already offering us the love we desire, but we have to be desperate. When we want Him more than anything else, His love infuses life into our homes, our schools, our relationships. Love inspires. When we can truly say, "I am worthy of that love, no matter what I have done or have not done," then God can come in big ways and visitations happen.This is really the key to all we desire. The key is in the heart of love. If we feel what He feels, our hearts are awakened. We love what He loves.
I broke into sobs after reading into the first few lines of that passage. His presence was there with me. His embrace, His gentle loving touch. I knew these words were meant for me, because i've been searching for an answer. And it so happens that Grace, for some reason, cos it says "Dancing with Destiny" at the front cover, passed it to me last saturday and said it was really meant for me. But i havent read it, not really. God was just waiting for a moment to speak to me this whole week. But i didnt give Him a chance to. And it's already friday. So He threw a brick at me. I still love him.
I am new creation
No more in condemnation
Here in the grace of God i stand
My heart is overflowing
His love just keeps on growing
Here in the grace of God i stand.
10:58 pm
Forgive me Lord i've fallen short
of Your glory, of Your love.
It's only by grace, can i stand.
Here i come into this place,
once again to seek Your face.
I am weary, but You are my strength.
You are amazing, merciful and faithful,
beautiful, my Saviour, You are Holy,
You are worthy!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
12:46 am
I love cellgroup prayer meetings! Not cos of the ppl, but because of God's lovely presence when we gather in His Name. :)
