i ' v e f o u n d t h e T R U T H.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

moomoo again 12:15 am

this is a much much cuter and adorable video of moomoo. Moomoo is bathing and fluffing up herself cos i just finished bathing her. Ignore the background sounds. My mum just snapped her thread at the sewing machine again. Thats all.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

nursing attachment 1st 9:29 pm

This attachment is really an eye opener for me…saw lots of cases…lots of suffering and pain…all of which I have never seen nor experienced before. I don’t think I can get used to it. It makes my heart heavy each time I see my patients suffering… I don’t think I want to get used to it anyway, I don’t want to become an indifferent nurse. But for an emotional person like me, it’s really affecting me… At the polyclinic, I felt sad about the baby who lost his father who committed suicide, and grossed out at the open cavity wounds. At the Hospital, I was traumatized by the suffering of the patient with trachea infection who had to go through tremendous pain…I saw the whole procedure of the suctioning of his lungs; it’s the case in which one student nurse fainted after that…It is really that sickening. And at the Nursing home, there’s the stroke patient who was in great pain as her limbs were stretched by the Care assistant mercilessly. I had to bite my tongue to restrain myself from crying as I hear her cry and moan…I had to keep a straight face… Oh God… I need extra strength to face all these…

Thursday I went to Nursing Home. Twas my first time carrying and feeding patients…the feeding part was ok. The carrying part was a moment of panic. None of the staff nurses were around when I wheeled the patient back to her bed. After that I found out that the patient needed help to get on the bed. For a few moments I forgot how to carry my patient, because I never tried on real patients. Thank God I came back to my senses and remembered. And goodness, she was so heavy. Thank God I didn’t drop her. Or there would be big trouble because I wasn’t instructed by the nurse to carry her to bed. I was still a student nurse. It didn’t cross my mind to call the other nurses then, they were so far away anyway. But it was successful. Whew. And goodness, I really have to hug the patient close to me in order to carry the patient using good body mechanics and ensuring safety of the patient. Otherwise, it’s really quite impossible. Moreover, I’m so short. Hmm, I think I smile too much, I should smile less.

Monday, June 18, 2007

11:51 pm

According to a nursing rule, confidentiality and privacy is important. Therefore i will not name names and places in here. But here's how my attachment went...

During this week of attachment, the incidents that happened cause me to reconsider taking nursing. But yes, of course i will continue to strive to be a nurse. Its just that i wasnt prepared for the things i would face during this attachment... the trauma, the grief, the pain that i would feel as a nurse... I was exposed to so many cases that i nvr knew even existed... In the chronic ward, the patients there were like the living dead...its more like a hospice than a hospital really... Suffering that i never knew existed...my heart is heavy and burdened... Its like, suddenly i got to see and know things that i nvr thought could even be possible in this world, except perhaps in my nightmares. And to see the expressions on the patients' faces was heart wrenching. It creeps me out, yet on the other hand, i feel a newfound deep sadness for them...
Today i witnessed a suction procedure of the trachae, in which there is a whole in the chest and throat to suck out the phelgm. I got to do the percussion beating on the patient, in which i unwillingly did...when the suctioning started...to sum it all up, i was in shock. We all were. I was praying as the procedure went on, i needed extra strength to pull through..it was that traumatising. When it was over, one of us, student nurses, fainted... my first time seeing a nurse faint.
Tomorrow, a stroke depressed patient is being put into my care...im really nervous honestly. Cos im not sure what am i supposed to do with her, except take care of her. Moreover, there's a language barrier. Cos i dont speak hokkien and she speaks little mandarin. My first patient...God help me...

Dear Lord, I know we go through this every day, but please give me the knowledge as to why I went to nursing school. Lord, give me the strength to make it through those boring three-hour lectures without falling asleep. Lord, please give me the patience to make it through 8 hours clinicals without getting tired. Lord, give me the endurance to read all the assigned readings and be able to remember it when I am taking a test with four right answers. Lord, give my family and friends the ability to realize I really am on the edge of insanity.. Lastly, Lord, please help me to endure the heartwrenching suffering that i will witness throughout my nursing life. In Jesus's Name i ask and pray. Amen
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May I be a nurse, Lord,
With gentle, healing hands,
Who always speaks with kindness,
Who cares and understands.

And while I'm serving others
As You would have me do.
Please help me to remember
That I'm truly serving You.
...
...
Give me strength and wisdom,
When others need my touch;
A soothing word to speak to them,
Their hearts yearn for so much.
Give me joy and laughter,
To lift a weary soul;
Pour in me compassion,
To make the broken whole.
Give me gentle, healing hands,
For those left in my care;
A blessing to those who need me,
This is a Nurse's prayer.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

its about God, not me 12:30 am

It's not about us, its about God.

It's not through our eyes, but through God's eyes.

It's not about what we think, but what God thinks.

It's not that complicated, its just that simple to God.

It's not that He can't explain, it's just not needed.

Not about what i want, but about what is pleasing to God.

Not about what i need, but about trusting in God s providence.

There is never a reason to disobey God,

no matter how trivial the case is

or how reasonable the reason is to me.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

cam whoring day 11:13 pm

ITS PHOTOS DAY AGAIN!!! More cellgroup photos on i4c blog. Photobucket.com hosting pixels aint really good. oh wells.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

moomoo 8:15 pm

this is my hamster moomoo. the cage is pink, hence the pink lighting.